For Isabella, fostering is about helping children feel safe, secure and able to be themselves.
Isabella has fostered children long term in the past and, for the last two and a half years, has mainly provided support care for children under two. She has also cared for older children, including teenagers.
Some of her most memorable fostering moments have been seeing children move from simply surviving to feeling safe enough to thrive.
“With babies, that tends to be the moment when they seem to come online,” Isabella explains.
“They go from being quite blank and unresponsive to suddenly feeling safe enough to start responding and smiling and making eye contact.”
She has seen similar changes in older children when they begin to feel secure. Isabella remembers one teenager who had been seen as combative and defiant at attending school. As she began to feel safer, her anxiety reduced and the adults around her were able to see the child behind the behaviour.
“We got to see the real her,” says Isabella.
“It’s when they finally feel safe and the real child starts to shine out.”
Don’t be afraid to get attached
One of Isabella’s biggest messages for anyone thinking about fostering is not to be afraid of becoming attached to a child.
“Of course I get attached,” she says.
“That’s exactly what we’re supposed to do.”
Isabella believes children need to experience having an adult who genuinely cares about them and is emotionally invested in their wellbeing.
“As a secure adult, I have all the tools I need to cope with the grief of letting go,” she explains.
“It’s much better for me to carry the burden of saying goodbye when that time comes, than it is for the child to carry the burden of never feeling that they’ve been truly and utterly loved.”
For Isabella, fostering is about giving children something every child deserves, the chance to feel safe, valued and loved.
Could you make a difference?
There is no one type of person who can foster. Foster carers come from different backgrounds and provide different types of care, but they all have the opportunity to make a lasting difference to a child’s life.
If you’re thinking about fostering, Foster for East Midlands can help you find out more about what’s involved, the support available and the different types of fostering you could provide.
Find out more about fostering with Foster for East Midlands Councils visit the web page or call 03033 132 950
Watch and listen to Isabella’s fostering journey below.